Summary: Debut: Tracey Ullman portrays a host of characters in day-in-the-life sketches about various U.S. residents that includes Arianna Huffington, Tony "Paulie Walnuts" Sirico, Rita Cosby and David Beckham. She also plays Lindsay Lohan's mother, the wife of a death-row inmate and an "undocumented worker from Bangladesh" who's employed by an elderly racist. Scott Bakula costars and Peter Strauss is the narrator.

Summary: Sindra wakes up for work. Marion checks in on her patient. Linda gives the morning news. Stacey Harris discusses her and her husband's farm, and their quest to find an alternative fuel, to get America off foreign oil. Laurie David talks to her publicist about Al Gore. Arianna talks about Rudy Giuliani's hair, and takes a phone call to discuss her thoughts regarding the Zsa Zsa and Eva Gabor movie script. Nancy Pelosi gets Botox injections. Irma discusses restless leg syndrome, with her neighbor. Padma gets held up. Tony Sirico interviews at a press junket for his new film, "I Married This Inuit". Gretchen Pincus gives her story to a ghost writer who's writing her autobiography. Rita Cosby reports from the lethal injection room where Gretchen Pincus' fiancé, "The Wetwipe Killer", is to be executed. David Beckham talks to his agent. News reporter Campbell Brown gives the public its nightly terror report. Sally Knox has an affair with her boss. Dina Lohan learns of Lindsay Lohan's engagement in a club with other parents of young Hollywood celebrities. Sindra returns home.

Summary: County hospital ambulance dumps woman out into the street. Linda wants to follow the "patient dumping" story and reads report on Angelina Jolie. Chanel does medical body scans. Laurie David discusses her eco-friendly private plane. Staff Sgt. Lisa Penning returns home from Iraq to visit her son. Arianna chooses dress for the Worldwide Blog Awards. Padma adds a Bollywood twist on erectile dysfunction. Renée Zellweger is on a press junket for her new movie, "Home Frontal Lobe". Irma talks about the "Super Bug". David Beckham has a press conference. Campbell Brown has a nightly news report of terror. Arianna is at the "Bloggies". Dina Lohan discusses Joy Fanning, mother of Dakota. Carmen gets interviewed by news crew.

Summary: Mother Superior Rose Pannatella meditates. Linda reports on the alarm clock recall. Chandra talks yoga unions. Arianna's housekeeper gets stranded, leaving Arianna to do housework. Malawian star, Asmaa Qasim, comes to America to adopt a child. Laurie has her pilot dump their jet fuel over Nebraska. Irma gets hit by Laurie's jet fuel. Padma sings about Bipolar disorder medication. Sherilynne participates in the "Walk A Mile In Their Shoes" program, dressing as a Muslim. Dame Judi Dench talks about her new film. Campbell Brown reports. Sandra rallies her team. Sally Knox and her boss discuss their lives. David Beckham gets ready for a dinner party, with the creator of, Lost. Dina Lohan is informed that her daughter has died. Arianna blogs about her day. Dale and Asmaa head to Malawi.

Summary: America's imports/exports for the day. "Mutiny" on a JetBlue plane. Chanel confiscates "pilot killers". Mary Ann LeFrank, gets her ultrasound. Laurie David's publicist can't find the toilet. David Beckham returns from a child's birthday party. Andy Rooney delivers his piece on pencils. Cameron Diaz in, "That Terrible Time Of The Month". Mary Ann's water breaks. Campbell Brown reports. Annette Thomas returns to the stage—almost. Ronnie Rooney dies during, "Chicago". Sally Knox and her boss decide to leave their spouses. Mary Ann gives birth. Arianna blogs about Andy Rooney and Mary Ann LeFrak. The fate of Mary Ann's offspring.

Summary: Rose questions God being too PC. Marion arrives for work. Doris is held up for smuggling at the border. Sally learns that Chris has not left his wife. Russian translator. Rita Cosby arrives at the scene of crime. Abbey Melina Harris advertises for Dignity Village. Chanel reveals everything she’s confiscated. Suzanne Somers plugs her new “Vagisizer”. Dame Helen Mirren discusses her new film, “Fish Out Those Old Teats”. Padma tries to help a customer remove her Vagisizer. David Beckham injures himself. Marion awaits the coroner.