Summary: Music Video: 50 Cent, C.R.A.P. Welcome to Season 9 GAP Hag Fake TV (ABC) Marvin Tikvah & Hollywood Hopefuls California Recall Governors Debate 2003 #1 Rod Roddy: Divorce Lunch Date California Recall Governors Debate 2003 #2 Dot Hulk/Nick the Scientist Bible Dude: Illegal Music Downloading Music Performance: Mya performs ""My Love Is Like..Wo"" Show Close: Andy Dick argues with Michael McDonald

Summary: Kmart Joe Boxer Lorraine Goes To The Beach Shaq and the Super Lakers Dr. Kylie: Puberty Music Video: ""Prostitution"" Real **********ing Emmy Special Madonna Childrens Book 7am Condo Report The Fighting Temptations Premiere Encore: A Wedding Story (#804) Close: Red Carpet (Ike & Aries)

Summary: Olive Garden Boy Meets Goy Music Video: ""Consensual"" Sean the Freaky Floor Leader QVC Perry's Love Therapy MADtv at the Emmys Affleck Insurance Encore- Hooked on Phonics VG Close - Mo & Paul Red Carpet

Summary: Archie Tomlinson Oldsmobile E! Celebrities Uncensored Queer Eye For The Strange Guy The O'Reilly Factor: Gray Davis Snuggle the Fabric Softner Bear Goes On A Bloody Rampage Stuart Sees A Therapist Freddy vs. Jason vs. Snuggle Tony Hawk's Boom Boom Restaurant Mrs. Campbell: Emergency Room Ike and Josh Hitprov Musical Performance: Chingy ""Right Thurr"" Closing: Jack Nicholson

Summary: Average Asian Deux John Madden for Vagisil Angela's Funniest Home Video MTV's Direct Effect: 50 Cent Feline Feline & Hairball The Newlyweds Coldplay ""The Narcissist"" Music Video A Football Thing 7am Condo Report 2 The Powerslut Girls Matrix Revolutions Premiere Close: Bobby Outside of Studio

Summary: Hey Mad Video The Vancome Bachlorette Lady Season Six Clip: The Sopranos - Edited For Content Season Eight Clip: Oprah's Thinning Camera Kenny Roger's Punk'd Artie Lange Salute's MADtv Season One Clip: Terms of Imprisonment Stuart Goes Shoe Shopping Literally: MADtv Audience Season Three Clip: Funky Walker, Dirty Talker w/ Halle Berry Ms. Swan at the DMV Season Five Clip: The Wizard of Oz Lost Footage Dot: The Return of Karen Season Three Clip: I Love Lucy '98 Real Mother F****n Talk's 200th Episode Season Three Clip: CLOPS Pilsbury Doughboy Show Close w/ Aries

Summary: Me Against Madonna Washington Journal Sean's Surprise Birthday Party Wheel of Fortune: Government Worker Week Werewolf 2: Bad Credit Trina's Costume Party Sleep Cell Cat In The Hat Premier Part 1 Cat In The Hat Premier Part 2

Summary: Everybody Loves Raymond's Lesbian Cousin TRL: Music Video: Emcee Esher Connie Chung Tonight: Paige By Paige Shaq And The Super Lakers Football Game Marriage Proposals Hollywood Squares: Stars Of UPN Geert The Dutch Boarder Feuding Family 2: Thanksgiving Dinner Kathy Griffin's D-List Celebrity Thanksgiving Special Closing: Feuding Family Food Fight

Summary: The Today Show: Winter Concert Depressed Persian Tow Truck Man: Plane Ride Mexican Mariachi Band 60 Minutes Spishak Bug Zapper Special Patrick Special Olympics Saffron Johnson (Super Gay New Laker) Dr Phil: I Hear Voices Mo & Aries at the Vibe Awards Close: Vibe Awards

Summary: Lords Of The Bling: The Return Of The Bling The Boys Of Abercrombie & Fitch Fake Sponsor: Hilton Hotels News Retractions The Lillian Verner Game Show OnStar Lorraine Makes A Baby Room Raucous Postal Workers Go Postal Connie Chung On E!: Kate Hudson's Baby Shower Access Hollywood: Smashmouth Close: LV Game Show Bloopers

Summary: An Elizabeth Smart Christmas Powerslut Girls Vs. Frosty Bowling For Christmas A Marvin Tikvah Christmas Feuding Family Christmas Happy Holidays from Woody Allen Renee Zellwegger's Holiday Wish The Babysitter Mutilator Suge Knight's Court Ordered Holiday Album Westside Connection Performs Happy Holidays from LL Cool J

Summary: Neverland Ranch Music Video Text Messaging The Simpler Life OnStar: Britney Spears Flu Sex Snow White Audition Drama Queen: Dinner Theatre Missing Film Strip Encore: ""Dot On Oprah"" Closing: ""The Simpler Life""

Summary: John Madden's Movie Minute Scare Tactics Dr. Kylie: Fertility Oscar and Sugar Shane Celebrity Survivor Celebrity Survivor: Tribal Council Football Coach Court TV's A Simple Life Encore: ""Angela: Racism"" Closing: ""Celebrity Survivor: Meg Ryan and Dr. Phil""

Summary: Gabmore Girls expedia.com Fake Sponsors Mrs. Campbell: The Apprentice The Kim Jong-Il Show Stuart: Next Door Aries' Vocal Tips The Bride Of Funkenstein Chrysler Drive & Love Encore: Senator Debate (#804) Ruben Studdard Performs ""What Is Sexy"" Close: The Bride Of Funkenstein Outtakes

Summary: Abercrombie And Fitch 2 Crazy As Hell News The Lillian Verner Game Show: Valentines The Disneyland Scandal Two And A Half Men The Bureau Of Porno Actors Registration Real M************ Talk: Black History Month Action News Phillip Morris Awareness Campaign One For The Road Close: The Lillian Verner Game Show Outtakes

Summary: Sketches: Mike Tyson's Gettin' It All Back Tour The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Opening Monologue Star Jones: Payless Shoes The Price Is Right Circa 1974 The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Guests Bae Sung Master Translator 2: Movie Set (Anna Faris) Happy Trails Lorraine Static Electricity Sweater Co. Encore: ""Angela's Big Fat Canadian Cousin"" Close: Lorraine

Summary: Sketches: Colgate Commercial Dot: Spelling Bee Rusty: Academy Awards American Political Idol (Bill O'Reilly) Family Feud: Cold Mountain Vs. Lord of the Rings (Rich Talarico) The Olsen Twins' Hip Hop Sock Hop Self-Incrimination Encore: ""Spishak: Excuses! Excuses! Excuses! Excuses! '98"" Closing: American Political Idol: Clay Singing

Summary: Trojan OvaMax Contraceptive Patch The Wayne Brady Show Gets Cancelled Cold Case Taco Hell Wedding Day Jay Walking Mania Pirate Party Productions A Farewell To Frasier Fake Sponsor: UCLA Body Donor Program Encore: Public School House Rocks!: Nouns (#717) Close: Cold Case

Summary: Over The Rainbow #1 Who Wants To Be A Super Duper Millionaire Over The Rainbow #2 It's A Small World: Revenge Of Satans Undead Dolls 7am Condo Report 3 Crossing The Hell Over ABC Schedule Bae Sung: Airport Gay Hulk 2: Me Out Of Closet Fake Sponsors The Kim Jong-Il Show: JC Chasez Encore: Kenny Rogers' Jackass (#623) The Rear View To The World-Wide Websters Dictionary Close: Crossing The Hell Over

Summary: John Madden: Easter Money Dot: NOT a 24 Sketch Geert Gets A Job QVC Over 40 Hitprov-Romeo and Julie Encore: Ms. Campbell Fast Food Lawsuit Supermarket Superheros Sam Adams Time Travels

Summary: Average Asian: Dating Movie Trailer (Kiss The Twisted Eye Of The Beholder Of The Ya-Ya Double Jeopardyhood) The Price Is Right: Circa 1986 Funkenstein Against Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde Bae Sung: Court Interpreter Encore: Oprah's Thinning Camera (#822) Restaurant Proposal Choppy The Janitor Close: Funkenstein Outtakes

Summary: Angela: Heroes On Montel The Wizard of Oz: Realistic Ending Marvin Tikkvah: Chubby Chaser Love The OC Meets American Idol Losers Sean the Floor Leader: Bring Your Child To Work Day Food Network: Eggsellent Marathon Encore: Stuart Gets A Rival (#706) Closing: OC Outtakes

Summary: Whoopi Goldberg for SlimFast Dr. Kylie: Chinese Bird Flu Coach Heinz Lillian Verner Game Show III: Mother's Day Helenzilla Choppy: Sexual Harassment Drunk POV Encore-Dot: Child Genius Dr. Kylie Outtakes

Summary: What Can Brown Do For You? Depressed Persian Tow Truck Man: Prom Night Hollywood Squares: Desperate Gimmick Week Doggone Tired Of Them! Dominic The Giant At Work Shot In The Head Metaphorica Kappa Kappa Kappa - Sorority Row Makeover Encore: Loraine Goes to College Fox Action News Close: Brown/Squares Outtakes

Summary: Baby Abercrombie Superstitious Knights: Jinx Letters To Lincoln Stuart: Poker Game Real **********ing Talk: Censored The Price is Right: Prehistoria Funkenstein vs. the Werewolf Hookers Close-Aries